I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
