1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
