Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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