Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I want you more than these girls want KFC
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Dick very happy bro
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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