Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
