I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
