I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
