So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I have already put on my inside pants.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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