It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
