It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
