We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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