If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Randomize
