I'm really into asian looking animals
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
