She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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