He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
