I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize