would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
