just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
