you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
