Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
