I can text with my tongue
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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