I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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