Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Randomize
