I murdered the dance floor call the cops
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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