if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
