dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
