im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
