Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
