the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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