you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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