uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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