Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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