why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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