Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize