the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
