Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
