i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
