I could make wine with my vomit
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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