Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
