Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
