i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
