My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
