kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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