is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
