Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize