i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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