Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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