Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
porn star boner night. come get it.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
