Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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