I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
