Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
