I want to stick my p in your. b.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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