i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
