I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
