So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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