$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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