in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I bet he comes in French.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
