I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
