yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
