I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Randomize
