the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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