I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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