Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
