woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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