Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I love having hate sex.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I just blew my weed a kiss
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
