doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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