Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
