SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
